Husbands and Wives

Filled with the Spirit. Paul has just told believers to “be filled with the Spirit” (5:18). A Spirit-filled life shows in everyday life, starting at home. Songs. Spirit-filled people speak “to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord” (5:19). They sing to God and help one another remember who He is. Thanks. They are “giving thanks always for all things to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ” (5:20). We thank the Father through Jesus, because Jesus brought us to God. Putting others first. They are “submitting to one another in the fear of God” (5:21). To submit to one another means to put the other person ahead of yourself. Everyone. Paul says “one another.” This is for every believer: moms and dads, children, brothers and sisters, grandparents and friends. The fear of God. It means deep respect for Him. We put others first because we love and honor Jesus. Like Jesus. Jesus is the best example. He served others, and He gave His life for us. What this means for you. Look for one way to let someone at home go first this week, and thank God at dinner for one good gift.

Filled (5:18). Paul has just told believers, “be filled with the Spirit.” Spirit-filled people sing, give thanks and put one another first. Speaking in song (5:19). “Speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord.” Spirit-filled singing is both upward, to the Lord, and outward, to one another. Thanks in His name (5:20). “Giving thanks always for all things to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.” Believers come to the Father through the Son. Thanksgiving is how a Spirit-filled heart answers God’s goodness. One another (5:21). “Submitting to one another in the fear of God.” Each believer places others ahead of self. Paul writes “one another,” so the call reaches every person in God’s family. The fear of God. The motive is reverence for Christ. Believers put others first because they honor the Lord who saved them. The pattern. Christ Himself served others. Every believer, young or old, is called to humble care like His. The home. This humble love belongs in every home, between wives and husbands and between children and parents. Application. Choose one daily task at home this week, such as clearing the table, and do it for someone else without being asked. Thank the Father in Jesus’ name each time.

Paul had just written, “But be filled with the Spirit.” What happens when God’s Spirit fills His people? Paul said they sing. He wrote, “Speak to each other with psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs.” They give thanks too. Paul said, “Always give thanks to God the Father for everything.” Then Paul wrote, “Be willing to obey each other.” That means putting other people first. God’s people let others go first and help them. Paul said to do this “because you respect Christ.” A Spirit-filled home is thankful, and people care for each other.

God’s Spirit helps His children sing and give thanks. They put other people first. They do it out of love for Jesus.

Wives (5:22). “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.” To submit here means to follow someone’s lead and support them. Paul asks wives to do this. As to the Lord. A wife does this as part of following Jesus. It is a way of serving Him. The head (5:23). “For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body.” Christ is the head who leads, and He is also the Savior who died for His people. Like the church (5:24). “Just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.” The church gladly follows Jesus because He loves her. Love, not force. God’s command to husbands is to love. God never wants a wife, or anyone, to do wrong or to be harmed. Every family. Families come in many shapes. Some children live with one parent. Some live with grandparents, foster parents, adoptive parents or other caregivers. God loves every one of these families. The Bible calls God “a father of the fatherless” (Psalm 68:5). Not your fault. If your parents live apart, or a parent is not with you, that is never your fault. What this means for you. Thank God for the grown-ups who care for you, and pray for them by name this week.

Wives (5:22). “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.” Every believer puts others first (5:21). A wife does this by following and supporting her own husband’s lead. As to the Lord. A wife’s support is part of her service to Christ. Because it is done as to the Lord, no one may ask her to do wrong or to put up with harm. Head and Savior (5:23). “For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body.” Paul joins headship to Christ, who leads His people by saving them. The church’s example (5:24). “Just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.” The church follows a Lord who loved her first. The husband’s part. God’s command to the husband is love, and the measure of that love is the cross. Every family. Many of you live with one parent, with grandparents, with foster or adoptive parents, or with other caregivers. God is “a father of the fatherless” (Psalm 68:5), and He loves every one of these families. If your parents live apart, that is never your fault. Application. Write down the names of the grown-ups who care for you. Pray for each one this week, and thank one of them in person.

Next Paul wrote to wives. He asked wives to follow their husbands’ lead. They do this as a way of serving the Lord. Paul said that Christ is “the head of the church.” Jesus leads His church, and He saved her. His lead is always kind and loving. Families come in many shapes. Some children live with one parent. Some live with grandparents, foster parents or adoptive parents. If your parents live apart, that is never your fault. God loves every family and every child in it.

Wives follow their husbands’ lead, as they follow the Lord. Jesus leads His church with love. God loves every family, with grandparents or one parent.

Husbands (5:25). “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her.” Paul gives husbands a command to love. Just as Christ. The measure is Jesus. He gave His whole life on the cross for His people. A husband’s love is to be giving love like that. Made clean (5:26). Christ gave Himself “that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word.” Jesus makes His people clean and holy through His Word. Beautiful (5:27). He will “present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle.” No stain, no wrinkle, nothing wrong left at all. Many Christians see this as the day Jesus comes back for His church. Care (5:28-29). “So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies.” Everyone feeds and cares for their own body. Christ “nourishes and cherishes” the church like that. One family (5:31). Paul quotes, “and the two shall become one flesh.” A husband and wife belong to each other as one new family. The great picture (5:32). “This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church.” Marriage points to Jesus and His people. Love and respect (5:33). Each husband is to love his wife “as himself,” and the wife is to see “that she respects her husband.” No hurting. God never wants anyone in a family to hurt another person. Love looks like Jesus, who gave Himself. What this means for you. Jesus loves you with that same giving love. Thank Him today for giving Himself for you.

The command to husbands (5:25). “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her.” A husband’s calling is self-giving love, measured by the cross. Why He gave Himself (5:26). “That He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word.” Christ sets His people apart for God and makes them clean through His Word. The goal (5:27). “That He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish.” Many Christians see this presenting as the day Christ returns for His church. As their own bodies (5:28). “So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself.” A husband treats his wife’s good as his own. Nourishes and cherishes (5:29). Christ “nourishes and cherishes” the church. Cherishes is thalpo (say: THAL-poh), to keep warm and close. Paul uses it in 1 Thessalonians 2:7: “just as a nursing mother cherishes her own children.” Members (5:30). “For we are members of His body.” Christ cares for His church because she belongs to Him. One flesh (5:31-32). Paul quotes, “and the two shall become one flesh,” and adds, “This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church.” Marriage points to Christ’s love for His people. Love and respect (5:33). “Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” Both learn their love from Christ. No harm. God never wants anyone in a family to hurt another person. Love looks like Jesus, who gave Himself. Application. Read 5:25-27 slowly this week and thank Christ for each thing He does for His people.

Then Paul wrote to husbands. He said, “Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church.” How did Christ love the church? He died for her. Paul wrote, “Christ used the word to make the church clean.” Jesus washes away His people’s sin. He will make His church “like a bride in all her beauty.” Many Christians see this as the day Jesus comes for His church. Paul said husbands should care for their wives like their own bodies. God never wants anyone in a family to hurt another person. Love looks like Jesus, who gave Himself.

Husbands, love your wives the way Jesus loves His church. Jesus gave Himself for His people. God never wants anyone in a family to hurt another.

Children (6:1). “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.” Paul wrote these words straight to the children in the church. In the Lord. Children obey in a way that pleases the Lord. God never asks a child to do something wrong or unsafe, or to keep a secret that feels bad. Tell someone. If anyone at home hurts you, scares you, or hurts someone else, tell a grown-up you trust, like a teacher, a pastor or a relative. It is never your fault. Honor (6:2). “Honor your father and mother.” To honor is to treat someone as important, with respect and love. The promise (6:3). “That it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth.” God put a promise with this command to show His good plan for families. How long anyone lives is in God’s loving hands. When we fail. Every child disobeys sometimes. Jesus forgives everyone who comes to Him, and He helps us start again. Fathers (6:4). “And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.” Parents have a job from God too. They are not to push their children toward anger with harsh or unfair treatment. Teaching about the Lord. Parents teach their children about Jesus, and they correct them with love. What this means for you. Pray for the grown-ups who care for you this week, and find one way to honor them.

Children (6:1). “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.” Paul speaks to children directly, as full members of the church. In the Lord. Obedience “in the Lord” is obedience that pleases Him. God never asks a child to do something wrong or unsafe, or to keep a secret that feels bad. If anyone at home hurts you, scares you, or hurts someone else, tell a grown-up you trust, like a teacher, a pastor or a relative. It is never your fault. Honor (6:2). “Honor your father and mother.” Obedience is what children do; honor is the respect and love behind it. The promise (6:3). “That it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth.” The promise shows the goodness of God’s design for families. How long any one person lives is in God’s loving hands. Fathers (6:4). “And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath.” Provoke to wrath is parorgizo (say: par-or-GID-zoh), to stir someone up to anger, the way harsh words, unfair rules or mocking can push a child toward anger. Bring them up (6:4). “But bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.” Bring up is ektrepho (say: ek-TREF-oh), the same word Paul used for how Christ “nourishes” the church (5:29). Parents feed and care for their children’s hearts the way Christ cares for His people. Grace. Every child sometimes fails to obey. Christ forgives all who come to Him and gives His Spirit to help. Application. Pray this week for the grown-ups who care for you, and ask God to help you honor them.

Paul wrote to the children too. He said, “Children, obey your parents the way the Lord wants.” That means obeying in a way that pleases God. God never asks a child to do something wrong or unsafe. He never wants you to keep a secret that feels bad. If anyone at home hurts you or scares you, tell someone. Tell a teacher, a pastor or a relative you trust. It is never your fault. Paul wrote, “Honor your father and mother.” Then he wrote to fathers: “Fathers, do not make your children angry.” When we fail to obey, Jesus forgives us and helps us.

Children, obey your parents in God’s good way. If someone hurts you, tell a teacher or pastor. It is never your fault.