The Christian Home

Love at home. Paul wrote this letter to the believers in the town of Colosse. Near the end, he spoke to each person in a Christian home. Jesus is Lord of the home too. Wives (3:18). “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.” Fitting means right and good. A wife who supports her husband’s lead is honoring the Lord, who is over them both. Husbands (3:19). “Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter toward them.” Bitter means harsh and sour. A husband’s words and actions toward his wife should be gentle. Children (3:20). “Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well pleasing to the Lord.” When you obey with a willing heart, you make the Lord glad. Never wrong or unsafe. Obeying your parents is about all the good things they ask. You never have to do something wrong or unsafe, or keep a bad secret, because someone told you to. When someone at home or someone in charge hurts or frightens you, go to a teacher, a pastor or a relative you trust and tell them. It is never your fault. Fathers (3:21). “Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.” Discouraged means losing heart and wanting to give up. Parents help children keep trying with patient, kind words. Every family. Some of you live with a mom or a dad, a grandparent, an aunt or an uncle, or a foster family. God sees your home, and He loves every person in it. What this means for you. Choose one way to make someone at home glad this week, like helping before anyone asks.

One Lord over the home. Paul has just written, “And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus” (3:17). Life in the name of the Lord Jesus begins at home. Wives (3:18). “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.” Fitting means proper or right. The words “in the Lord” give both the reason and the limit: Christ is over husband and wife alike, so His lordship can never require doing wrong. Husbands (3:19). “Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter toward them.” Bitterness is a harsh, resentful spirit that comes out in sharp words. Paul rules it out completely. Children (3:20). “Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well pleasing to the Lord.” A child’s glad obedience is a gift that pleases Christ Himself. All things? Paul is speaking to Christian homes where parents lead in the Lord. No one may use God’s words to make a child do wrong, do something unsafe, or hide a hurtful secret. When anyone at home or anyone in charge hurts or frightens you, speaking up is right and brave: tell a teacher, a pastor or a relative you trust. It is never your fault. Fathers (3:21). “Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.” To be discouraged is to lose heart. Constant criticism and impossible demands crush a child’s spirit; patient correction builds courage. Every family. Not every home has a mother and a father under one roof. Grandparents, single parents, foster and adoptive parents and other caregivers are part of God’s care for children, and each of these homes is precious to Him. Application. Pick one person at home and look for a way to make their day easier this week, before anyone asks.

Paul wrote to every person in a Christian home. He wrote, “Wives, be under the authority of your husbands.” He said, “This is the right thing to do in the Lord.” Then he wrote, “Husbands, love your wives, and be gentle to them.” Next he spoke to children. He said obeying parents “pleases the Lord.” Obeying never means doing something wrong or unsafe. No grown-up should ask you to hide a bad secret. Is someone hurting or scaring you? Your teacher, your pastor or a relative will want to help. Tell someone you trust. It is never your fault. Paul told fathers not to be “too hard to please.” Kind parents help children keep trying. Your home might have one parent, grandparents or foster parents. God cares about every kind of family.

Paul said obeying your parents pleases the Lord. You never have to do wrong or keep bad secrets. God loves every kind of family.

A hard life (3:22). “Bondservants, obey in all things your masters according to the flesh.” Bondservants were slaves. In Paul’s day, many people were owned by others and had no freedom to choose their work. That was hard and unfair, and it is not how God wants people to be treated. Precious to God. Earlier in this letter, Paul wrote that among God’s people there is neither “slave nor free, but Christ is all and in all” (3:11). Every person is equally precious to God. Seen by God. Paul told believers in that hard place to serve “not with eyeservice, as men-pleasers, but in sincerity of heart, fearing God.” Eyeservice means working well only while someone is watching. God sees the heart. Heartily (3:23). “And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men.” Heartily means with your whole heart, gladly, doing your best. The real reward (3:24). “Knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance; for you serve the Lord Christ.” People might never thank these workers, but Jesus saw every job, and the reward would come from Him. God is fair (3:25). “But he who does wrong will be repaid for what he has done, and there is no partiality.” Partiality means having favorites. God treats a master and a worker by the same fair rule. Masters too (4:1). “Masters, give your bondservants what is just and fair, knowing that you also have a Master in heaven.” People in charge are under God too, and they answer to Him. What this means for you. Do your chores, homework and practice as if Jesus asked you Himself, because He sees. When you are the one in charge, like a team captain, be fair to everyone.

Bondservants (3:22). “Bondservants, obey in all things your masters according to the flesh.” Slavery was everywhere in the Roman world, and many believers in the churches were slaves. Paul speaks to them as brothers and sisters in Christ, with dignity before God. Not God’s design. Slavery treated people made in God’s image as property, and Scripture never calls that good. Paul had already written that among God’s people there is neither “slave nor free, but Christ is all and in all” (3:11). Eyeservice. Paul calls them to serve “not with eyeservice, as men-pleasers, but in sincerity of heart, fearing God.” Eyeservice is ophthalmodoulia (say: off-thal-moh-doo-LEE-ah), service for the eyes: work that looks good only while someone watches. Sincerity means one heart, the same work seen or unseen. From the soul (3:23). “And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men.” Heartily is ek psyches (say: ek psoo-KHAYS), from the soul: the whole self brought to the task. The reward (3:24). “Knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance; for you serve the Lord Christ.” An inheritance belongs to a child of the family; it is not wages for a hired hand. Believers who had little on earth were heirs in God’s family. No favorites (3:25). “But he who does wrong will be repaid for what he has done, and there is no partiality.” God’s justice is the same for the worker and the master. He sees every wrong, and He has no favorites. Just and fair (4:1). “Masters, give your bondservants what is just and fair, knowing that you also have a Master in heaven.” Fair is isotes (say: ee-SOH-tays), evenness or equal treatment. Paul tells the powerful that they too serve a Master who sees everything. Application. Pick one task you usually rush when no one checks, and do it well this week as service to Christ. When you lead a group or a team, treat everyone the same.

Next Paul wrote to believers who were slaves. In Paul’s day, many people were owned by others. That was hard and unfair. Paul also wrote, “There is no difference between slaves and free people.” He told these believers to serve honestly, “because you respect the Lord.” He said to work as if they were working for the Lord. Jesus saw their work, even when no one else did. Paul said, “You are serving the Lord Christ.” Then Paul told masters to be good and fair. He reminded them, “You have a Master in heaven.” The Lord treats everyone the same. You can do your chores and homework for Jesus too.

Do your work for Jesus, even when no one sees. Tell a trusted grown-up if someone hurts or scares you. It is never your fault.

Keep at it (4:2). “Continue earnestly in prayer, being vigilant in it with thanksgiving.” To continue earnestly means to keep praying and not give up. Wide awake. Vigilant means watchful and alert, like a guard who stays awake. We pray with our eyes open to what God is doing and to what people need. With thanks. Paul joins prayer to thanksgiving. Before we ask for more, we thank God for what He has already given. Pray for us (4:3). “Meanwhile praying also for us, that God would open to us a door for the word.” Paul asked the believers to pray for him and his helpers. In chains. Paul wrote that he was “in chains” because he told about Christ. He was most likely in Rome. Even so, he asked for a chance to share the good news. An open door. When God opens a door, people are ready to listen to the good news, and Paul has a way to reach them. Only God can open it. Clear words (4:4). “That I may make it manifest, as I ought to speak.” Manifest means plain and clear. Paul wanted everyone to understand the good news. What this means for you. Pray each day this week with one thank-you and one request for someone who tells others about Jesus, like your pastor or a missionary.

Persist (4:2). “Continue earnestly in prayer.” To continue earnestly is to hold fast and stay devoted, the way a person keeps going back to an important task. Vigilant. “Being vigilant in it with thanksgiving.” Vigilance is the alertness of a watchman. Prayer stays awake to God’s work and to the needs around it. Thanksgiving. Thanks keeps prayer from becoming a list of complaints. It remembers what God has already done in Christ. A request for others (4:3). “Meanwhile praying also for us, that God would open to us a door for the word, to speak the mystery of Christ, for which I am also in chains.” Paul, most likely a prisoner in Rome, asked for an open door for the gospel. The mystery of Christ. Paul has already said that this mystery “has been hidden from ages and from generations, but now has been revealed to His saints” (1:26). It is “Christ in you, the hope of glory” (1:27), offered to people from every nation. Speaking clearly (4:4). “That I may make it manifest, as I ought to speak.” Even a great apostle asked for prayer to speak clearly. The gospel is meant to be understood. Praying for others. Prayer is one of the ways ordinary believers share in the work of spreading the gospel, wherever they live. Application. Make a short prayer list this week: one thanksgiving, one missionary or pastor by name, and one friend who needs to hear about Jesus.

Paul wrote, “Continue praying and keep alert.” To keep alert is to stay awake and watch. We can talk to God all day long. Paul said, “And when you pray, always thank God.” Thank Him for your family, your food and your friends. Paul asked the believers to pray for him too. He was in prison for telling about Jesus. He asked them to pray for a chance to tell God’s message. He wanted to make it clear to everyone. We can pray for pastors and missionaries in the same way.

Keep praying, and always thank God. Paul asked his friends to pray for him. We can pray for people who tell about Jesus.

Wise with others (4:5). “Walk in wisdom toward those who are outside, redeeming the time.” Those who are outside are people who do not yet belong to God’s family. God loves them, and He wants us to be wise and kind with them. Redeeming the time. Redeeming means buying back. Paul wants us to make the most of each chance we have to show Jesus’ love. With grace (4:6). “Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt.” Grace here means kindness: words that are gentle and helpful, even when someone is not kind to us. Seasoned with salt. Salt makes food taste good. Words seasoned with salt are not dull or careless; they are thoughtful and worth hearing. Many Christians see a link here to Jesus’ words to His followers, “You are the salt of the earth” (Matthew 5:13). Answer each one. “That you may know how you ought to answer each one.” Every person is different. Kind, wise words fit the person you are talking to. A new friend. When a new kid comes to school or joins a team, a friendly hello can be the first step toward that friend hearing about Jesus. What this means for you. This week, say something kind to someone who does not know Jesus, and be ready to answer gently if they ask about Him.

Wisdom with others (4:5). “Walk in wisdom toward those who are outside, redeeming the time.” Those outside are people not yet in God’s family. Paul calls believers to live wisely and graciously in front of them, never with pride. Redeeming the time. To redeem is to buy back. Paul pictures each opportunity as something valuable to be bought up before it is gone. Grace (4:6). “Let your speech always be with grace.” Gracious speech gives the hearer kindness they have not earned, the way God gives grace to us. Salt. “Seasoned with salt.” In the ancient world salt gave flavor and kept food from spoiling. Words seasoned with salt have flavor: they are thoughtful and honest, never bland or crude. Many Christians see an echo here of Jesus’ words, “Have salt in yourselves, and have peace with one another” (Mark 9:50). Each one. “That you may know how you ought to answer each one.” Good answers fit the person: a hurting friend, a curious classmate, a person who disagrees. Listening comes first. Where the words come from. Speech like this grows in a heart where “the word of Christ” lives richly (3:16). Application. Before you reply in a hard conversation this week, stop and ask whether your words are kind, true and helpful to that person. Ask God for gracious words.

Paul said to be wise with people who do not know Jesus. He wrote, “Use your time in the best way you can.” Every day brings chances to show God’s love. Paul wrote, “When you talk, you should always be kind and wise.” Paul said our words should be like food seasoned with salt. Salt makes food taste good. Many Christians see a link to Jesus calling His followers salt. Kind words help a friend want to hear about Jesus. Paul said this helps us answer everyone the right way. Saying hello to a new kid is a good start.

Be wise with friends who do not know Jesus. Let your words be kind. Kind words help friends hear about Jesus.