My Own Familiar Friend

The Friend Who Ate His Bread

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David once wrote about a friend who turned against him: “Even my own familiar friend in whom I trusted, Who ate my bread, Has lifted up his heel against me” (Psalm 41:9).

A familiar friend. A familiar friend is a close friend, someone you know very well. David trusted this friend. They had eaten meals together.

Who ate my bread. In Bible times, eating at someone's table was a sign of friendship and peace. To turn against the person who fed you was a deep betrayal.

Lifted up his heel. This is a picture of turning on someone and kicking at him. The friend David trusted had turned against him.

Not an enemy. In another psalm David wrote, “For it is not an enemy who reproaches me; Then I could bear it” (Psalm 55:12). To reproach is to insult. Insults from an enemy hurt, but a friend's betrayal hurts even more.

A companion. “But it was you, a man my equal, My companion and my acquaintance. We took sweet counsel together, And walked to the house of God in the throng” (Psalm 55:13-14). They had talked together and worshiped God together. A throng is a big crowd.

Smooth words. “The words of his mouth were smoother than butter, But war was in his heart” (Psalm 55:21). His words sounded friendly, but his heart was against David.

Jesus quoted David. At the Last Supper Jesus said, “I do not speak concerning all of you. I know whom I have chosen; but that the Scripture may be fulfilled, ‘He who eats bread with Me has lifted up his heel against Me’” (John 13:18). David's words came true for Jesus in an even deeper way.

Smooth words again. Many Christians see Judas in Psalm 55's friend too. Judas came with a warm greeting and a kiss, but his heart was set against Jesus. Jesus still answered him, “Friend, why have you come?” (Matthew 26:50).

Jesus knew. Jesus told His disciples ahead of time, “Now I tell you before it comes, that when it does come to pass, you may believe that I am He” (John 13:19). He was not caught by surprise.

Why He went on. Jesus let Himself be betrayed and handed over so that He could die for sinners. On the third day He rose again. Because of this, everyone who trusts Him is forgiven.

What to do. If a friend has ever hurt you, Jesus understands that pain better than anyone. Tell Him about it today.

David prayed about a close friend who turned against him (Psalm 41:9; 55:12-14). On the night He was betrayed, Jesus quoted Psalm 41 (John 13:18).

Ish shelomi (Psalm 41:9). “Even my own familiar friend in whom I trusted, Who ate my bread, Has lifted up his heel against me.” The Hebrew for familiar friend is ish shelomi (say: eesh sheh-loh-MEE), the man of my peace: a friend David was at peace with and trusted.

Bread and heel. Eating at someone's table was a bond of friendship. Lifting the heel pictures a sudden kick, turning against the one who had shared his bread with you.

Worse than an enemy (Psalm 55:12-14). “For it is not an enemy who reproaches me; Then I could bear it.” “But it was you, a man my equal, My companion and my acquaintance. We took sweet counsel together, And walked to the house of God in the throng.” The wound went deep because the friendship had been real.

Butter and swords (55:20-21). “He has put forth his hands against those who were at peace with him; He has broken his covenant. The words of his mouth were smoother than butter, But war was in his heart; His words were softer than oil, Yet they were drawn swords.”

Fulfilled in Jesus (John 13:18). “He who eats bread with Me has lifted up his heel against Me.” What David suffered from a friend, the Son of David suffered from Judas, “one of the twelve” (Luke 22:47).

Hetairos (Matthew 26:50). When Judas kissed Him, Jesus said, “Friend, why have you come?” Friend is hetairos (say: heh-TIE-ross), a companion. Jesus did not answer smooth words with harsh ones.

Told beforehand (John 13:19). “Now I tell you before it comes, that when it does come to pass, you may believe that I am He.” The betrayal did not break God's plan. Jesus walked into it knowing everything.

Our own story. We have all received good gifts from God and still turned our backs on Him. Yet Jesus died for people like that: “For if when we were enemies we were reconciled to God through the death of His Son, much more, having been reconciled, we shall be saved by His life” (Romans 5:10). He rose again, and He lives to save.

For you. If someone close has hurt you, you are not the first. David knew that pain, and Jesus knew it most of all. Bring it to Him in prayer.

Cast Your Burden on the Lord

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What did David do with the pain of being betrayed? Psalm 55 shows us. It is a prayer you can pray too.

Honest with God. David began, “Give ear to my prayer, O God, And do not hide Yourself from my supplication” (Psalm 55:1). Supplication means asking God for help. David told God exactly how he felt.

A hurting heart. “My heart is severely pained within me” (Psalm 55:4). David did not pretend he was fine. God wants us to be honest with Him.

Wanting to fly away. “Oh, that I had wings like a dove! I would fly away and be at rest” (Psalm 55:6). When someone hurts us, we often want to run away from everything. David felt that too.

Calling on God. “As for me, I will call upon God, And the Lord shall save me” (Psalm 55:16). Instead of flying away, David ran to God.

All day long. “Evening and morning and at noon I will pray, and cry aloud, And He shall hear my voice” (Psalm 55:17). David kept praying, and he was sure God heard him.

A heavy load. “Cast your burden on the Lord, And He shall sustain you” (Psalm 55:22). A burden is a heavy load. To cast it is to throw it. To sustain means to hold you up and keep you going.

I will trust. The psalm ends, “But I will trust in You” (Psalm 55:23). He could not see how everything would turn out, but he knew whom to trust.

An even better way. Once David prayed that God would raise him up so he could pay his enemies back (Psalm 41:10). Jesus did something greater. When a crowd came for Him, He healed a servant's ear (Luke 22:51), and He called Judas “Friend” (Matthew 26:50).

He understands. “For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses” (Hebrews 4:15). Jesus knows what it feels like when a friend turns away.

Be a true friend. “A friend loves at all times” (Proverbs 17:17). Ask God to make you that kind of friend: loyal, honest and kind. If someone keeps hurting you or makes you feel unsafe, tell a parent, a teacher or another grown-up you trust.

What to do. Jesus carried the biggest load of all when He died for our sins, and then He rose again. Give Him your heavy load today.

When someone close turned against him, David took the hurt to God in prayer (Psalm 55).

Pain told to God (55:4-5). “My heart is severely pained within me, And the terrors of death have fallen upon me. Fearfulness and trembling have come upon me, And horror has overwhelmed me.” David did not hide what he felt from God.

The dove's wings (55:6-8). “Oh, that I had wings like a dove! I would fly away and be at rest.” Escape is the first wish of a hurting heart. But David's rest would come from God, not from running away.

As for me (55:16-17). “As for me, I will call upon God, And the Lord shall save me. Evening and morning and at noon I will pray, and cry aloud, And He shall hear my voice.” Others had broken faith with David. He chose to pray.

Peace in the battle (55:18). “He has redeemed my soul in peace from the battle that was against me, For there were many against me.” God gave David peace while the trouble was still around him.

The heavy load (55:22). “Cast your burden on the Lord, And He shall sustain you; He shall never permit the righteous to be moved.” Peter, who was in the garden that night, later wrote, “casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you” (1 Peter 5:7).

Trust at the end (55:23). The psalm closes, “But I will trust in You.” David left the outcome in God's hands.

Greater than David. In Psalm 41:10 David asked the Lord to raise him up so that he might repay his enemies. The Son of David did not repay. In the garden He healed the servant's ear (Luke 22:51) and called His betrayer “Friend” (Matthew 26:50).

He sympathizes. “For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin” (Hebrews 4:15). The risen Jesus knows betrayal from the inside.

For you. Be a friend who stays: “A friend loves at all times” (Proverbs 17:17). When a hurt is heavy, pray it through, talk to a trusted adult, and let Jesus carry it. He carried our sins to the cross and rose again. He can carry this too.

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